Jousei Dormitory or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Accept the Immaturity of Japanese College Males; an editorial

It has occurred to me on many occasions that I do not understand the boys that surround me in this all male dormitory. This has never really bothered me too much, I could acknowledge that some of them were spiteful, honest, kind, helpful, immature, and that in general each boy’s personality fit somewhere along the normal spectrum of human interaction. I then however, introduced into the equation a previously unknown element, an attractive white female friend from home in the States. The situation was thus: the dormitory was to have an open house and barbeque wherein certain rules would be overlooked, primarily the statute that outlines that visitors (all of them, male or female) with the sole exception of family, could proceed no farther into the dorm than the lobby, and no further into the dorm than the watchful eyes of the front desk, constantly and vigilantly guarded against intrusions of the worst kind. This open house than, was an ideal opportunity for my friend to see what sort of living situation I was truly in first hand, instead of through a mixture of pictures I occasionally sent. Knowing this I willingly invited her, and she willingly accepted. The day came and the event unfolded, my friend came and was the center of attention, albeit it a discreet center. Despite her Japanese being afair deal better than mine, she spoke only in English to myself and our other exchange student friends, giving the false conception that she could not in fact speak Japanese, this almost immediately caused problems. The boys I live with couldn’t get enough of a sight of her, and began their catcalls in broken English almost as soon as she stepped through the door, later in the afternoon she would comment simply and cogently on the matter stating “I’m not liking this so much”, an apt and polite way of putting the rudeness that surrounded her visit. It was somewhat natural that my dorm mates would think, myself being white, that the white girl I was so friendly with and brought to the event was my girlfriend, however far from the truth this conception is. Even with that conception, in the States it would not be very well received how they then decided to act on this interpretation, telling me in Japanese to “Do her”repeatedly. She of course understood all of this and rightfully so was filled with a sense of loathing for the individuals that surrounded me daily. “How can you stand to live here? I would have probably shot myself by now.” She commented. Seeking to understand the situation further, I consulted with my Thai friend for a different cultural perspective, the customs and sentiments of Thailand are even more foreign to me than the Japanese (as I have had almost no contact with this culture at all). “Maybe it is just the Japanese way.” He toted. I of course, can’t simply accept what to me was a breech of privacy and respect as merely a different ‘way of doing things’. I then went to oneof the Japanese students in the dormitory and questioned him about thesituation, the reply was somewhat stereotypically middle ground “Well, many ofthem [the Japanese students] are very immature but, they probably don’t mean any harm.” This too is an explanation of events I can’t accept. There has to be, or so it seems to me, that there are certain social boundaries that exist for a reason, perhaps these boundaries are in part destroyed by the pretense of linguistic communication barriers, however, regardless of who thinks who can understand, there is just a level of maturity that I expect from students that attend University. On the other hand, the society and life of the typical Japanese student is a far cry from the life I left in the States, and for now, I have no choice but to stop worrying and accept the immaturity of Japanese college boys.